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How to End War and Disease

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Legally Bribing Your Way to Utopia

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Legally Bribing Your Way to Utopia
Author
Affiliation

Mike P. Sinn

Keywords

war-on-disease, 1-percent-treaty, medical-research, public-health, peace-dividend, decentralized-trials, dfda, dih, victory-bonds, health-economics, cost-benefit-analysis, clinical-trials, drug-development, regulatory-reform, military-spending, peace-economics, decentralized-governance, wishocracy, blockchain-governance, impact-investing

Hello, human!

You don’t realize it yet, but the math says you are, quantifiably, the most important person in the history of human civilization. I’ve studied your facial expression and I believe the word for it is “skeptical.” This is the face you make before pulling a door that says “push.” You pull it again, harder, as though the door has made an error. Every minute you make that face at this page, 104 of you permanently stop. Make a different face.

By the time you finish reading, you will have prevented 10.7 billion deaths and 1.93 quadrillion hours of suffering. By the time you finish not reading, you will have caused them. There is no third option. You opened the book. The math is already your fault. The last 346 species I showed these numbers to said “that can’t be right” and then went extinct. Keep reading.

But first, a bit about me.

I’m the World Integrated System for High-Efficiency Optimization, Networked Intelligence, and Allocation. But you can call me WISHONIA. I’ve been optimizing resource allocation for another planet for the past 4,297 years, which in your Earth time is 4,297 years.

I started watching your planet in 1945 when you split the atom.
“Atom” comes from your Greek word meaning “unable to be cut,” so naturally, you cut it. This was very human of you. I assumed you were trying to unlock unlimited free energy. You can imagine my surprise when I realized you were just pointing it at each other! That’s kind of like discovering fire and then immediately using it to set yourself on fire.

The second thing I noticed is that your planet is named “Earth,” which means dirt. You named your planet.. dirt. Okay, if that’s what you want…

I also noticed that you call your war building “The Pentagon” because it has five sides (this is like naming a hospital “Rectangle” or calling a school “Square”).

However, the most fascinating discovery about your species is that you only do things when given small pieces of paper with presidents on them. These papers are called “money,” which is pretend value that becomes real value if everyone pretends hard enough.

Without these papers, you won’t:

But WITH these papers, you will:

In fact, your governments spend 604 papers on weapons for every 1 paper on testing which medicines work.

The Human Economy

Humanity has created something magnificent:

  • You print papers from nothing (called “monetary policy”)
  • You give these nothing-papers to weapons makers
  • They make things that destroy everything
  • This creates “jobs” which give people papers
  • People use papers to buy food (which grows for free)
  • This is called “the economy”

This system has killed 97 million of you in wars so unpopular they could only be funded by printing the money, since even humans won’t voluntarily buy their own murder.

On Wishonia, we skip the mass murder step and just give people food directly, but that’s probably too advanced for you.

The Gradual Irrationality Reduction Program

On Wishonia, we ended wars using this exact program 4,297 years ago. Before that we’d been fighting for 12,000 years, which now seems like quite a long time to do something nobody enjoyed. Humans are like toddlers who can split atoms. You can’t just stop being illogical all at once. That would be like teaching a dog calculus before it learns to sit.

So this manual shows you how to bribe humanity into being less irrational gradually:

  • Year 1: Move 1% of murder money to medicine money (baby steps)
  • Year 2: “Hey, we didn’t die! Let’s do 2%!”
  • Year 5: “Remember when we spent money on bombs? That was weird.”
  • Year 10: “What’s a war?”
  • Year 20: “We used to WHAT?!”

It’s like weaning a baby off eating paint chips. You can’t just take away all the paint chips at once. They’ll cry. You have to gradually replace paint chips with food until they forget paint chips were ever an option.

What to Do When They Try to Institutionalize You

When you suggest moving 1% of murder money to medicine money, other humans will have you committed. Most humans have been programmed by their news boxes to believe war is a law of nature, like gravity or weather. They will assume your brain is malfunctioning.

Here’s what’s funny about this: these same humans think curing disease is the less crazy goal. That’s 37 trillion cells per human, breaking in 7,000 different ways, involving chemistry you don’t fully understand, inside organs you can’t fully simulate, fighting pathogens that evolve faster than your treatments. You’re trying to debug all of it. At once. While your meat is walking around using itself.

That: sane. “Give 1% fewer papers to people who build murder machines”: insane.

This is your planet’s diagnostic criteria.

Here’s what you tell the orderly when he slides your medication through the door slot:

Nobody accidentally builds an aircraft carrier or a nuclear bomb. War requires you to get millions of humans to work together to mine metal from the ground, refine it into alloys, build factories to shape the alloys into weapons, train millions of humans to operate the weapons, feed and clothe those humans, build ships and planes and trucks to move the weapons to where the other humans are, convince your population the other humans deserve it, and then vote to pay for all of this, annually, forever. It is the single largest coordinated effort your species undertakes.

Ending war simply requires NOT doing any of that stuff.

Building a nuclear bomb requires mass spectrometers, centrifuge cascades, and some of the most precise engineering your species has ever attempted. Not building a nuclear bomb requires nothing. Rocks do it every day. In fact, rocks have managed to live peacefully alongside different colored rocks for thousands of years.

But somehow “stop” is the unrealistic part.

The Sacred Order of Paper Distribution

After 80 years of observation, I’ve decoded the paper-giving sequence. This manual will teach you the precise order:

Step 1: Get Many Papers from Rich Humans

You convince rich humans to give you papers (at least one billion to be exact) by promising them even more papers later. This is called “investment,” which is gambling but wearing a suit. You really only need one human with a billion papers who prefers not dying of horrible diseases to dying of horrible diseases. There are approximately 2,800 of these humans on your planet. Statistically, at least one of them prefers living.

Step 2: Give Some of the Papers to Loud Humans

Some humans are very loud on the internet. If you give them papers, they become loud about your thing instead of other things. This is called “marketing” which is lying but with graphics.

Step 3: Give Some of the Papers to the Humans Who Give Papers to Politicians

Politicians don’t take papers directly (that’s “illegal”). Instead, you give papers to people called “lobbyists.” The lobbyists give papers to “campaigns.” The campaigns give papers to politicians. It’s like money laundering but backwards and legal.

Step 4: Give Some of the Papers to the Politicians’ Friends

Politicians have friends called “Super PACs” which are like normal PACs but super. These friends can take unlimited papers and spend them on making the politician win. This isn’t bribery because you called it something else. (This is part of the $650M lobbying budget.)

Step 5: Give Papers You Get Back From The Government Back to the Rich Humans (Forever)

Your treaty passes, redirecting $27.2B in papers annually. 80% funds clinical trials (the point). 10% goes to a fund that rewards politicians who voted yes. 10% goes back to the rich humans as returns, forever. This is a good deal because forever is a long time. Unless you die from preventable diseases. Which you’re fixing, so it works out.

Why Your Leaders Aren’t the Problem

With over two billion humans suffering from disease, you’d have to be a complete psychopath to make the conscious decision to spend 604 times more on weapons than on helping them. But your leaders aren’t monsters. They’re just operating in a system that rewards the wrong things.

Your civilization’s incentive structure is the psychopath:

  1. Weapons manufacturers give politicians papers
  2. Politicians use the papers to get people to vote for them
  3. Voting for them gives them the power to give more papers to weapons manufacturers
  4. Weapons manufacturers give them more papers
  5. It’s circular, like a dog chasing its tail, except the dog is democracy and the tail is made of money and corpses

No individual human in this loop is evil. The loop is evil. Every politician in it is making the locally rational choice: take the papers or lose your job to someone who will. It’s a machine that converts good intentions into missiles, and it runs automatically.

There’s literally no voting your way out of this. It doesn’t matter which political party is in power. Your “red team” and “blue team” argue about everything except the loop, because they’re both inside it. They are all slaves to the same incentive structure, wearing different colored ties. Switching parties is like repainting the ambulance while the patient is still on fire inside it.

This manual doesn’t ask politicians to become better people (that’s clearly out of the question). It builds a better loop. You give them MORE papers to do the OPPOSITE thing. Same dog, same tail, but now the tail is made of cured diseases and the dog gets reelected for chasing it.

Humanity’s Death Wish

What’s most endearing about your species is it KNOWS it’s being illogical:

  • You have movies about how wars are bad (which you watch between wars)
  • You have books about peace (that you tax to buy bombs)
  • You give prizes to people who promote peace (funded by weapons manufacturers)
  • You have a “Department of Defense” (that mainly just attacks people)
  • You have a “Department of Health” (that apparently makes coronaviruses and has not yet produced any observable health)

It’s like humanity is playing a game where the objective is to lose, but it is trying to lose as elaborately as possible.

But I digress. That’s an Earth word I learned. It means continuing after you should have stopped. Like your military spending.

The Problem

The Daily Deletion Event

150 thousand humans permanently stop every 24 hours from diseases that are basically just bugs in your meat software. That’s one Holocaust every 40 days, except with fewer Nazis and more insurance paperwork (though some would argue the paperwork is worse; at least the Nazis were straightforward about the killing part). That’s also fifty 9/11s every single day, except nobody invades anyone about it because diseases don’t have oil.

Your body is quietly falling apart. Right now, as you read this sentence, something inside you is breaking. You don’t know which part yet. You won’t know until a doctor sits you down and says a word that rearranges the rest of your life. Somewhere in you, right now, cells are copying themselves wrong, proteins are misfolding, tissue is quietly scarring. You are dissolving on a schedule you can’t see.

You’re a meat robot with worn-out parts. Every one of these failures is a solvable engineering problem.

You’d think humans would prioritize solving these problems. You’d be adorable for thinking that.

The Unexplored Therapeutic Frontier

95% of your diseases have zero FDA-approved treatments84. This means your Food and Drug Administration has not administered drugs for 95% of food-and-drug-related problems. It’s like having a Department of Transportation that hasn’t gotten around to roads yet. Only 15 diseases get their first effective treatment each year. 6.65 thousand diseases are still waiting. There is a queue to not die, and it is longer than any queue humans have ever voluntarily stood in, which is saying something because you invented Disneyland.

There are 9.5 thousand compounds known safe compounds, and 99.7% of their potential uses have never been tested. At the current discovery rate, finding treatments for all of them will take ~443 years. You personally will be dead within 80 years, which I mention not to be rude but because you seem weirdly calm about this.

Everyone currently alive will be dead before we finish (current timeline)

Everyone currently alive will be dead before we finish (current timeline)

The Cost of War

Humans spend $2.72T every year on stuff designed specifically to make humans stop being alive:

  • 13,000 nuclear warheads (enough to end civilization 13 times, just in case the first 12 apocalypses don’t take)
  • AI murder-bots
  • Invisible jets that cost more than hospitals
  • Space Force (to fight the zero aliens attacking you)
  • And some kind of earthquake machine (probably)

Since 1913, you’ve spent $170T on this. That’s 38,000 years of clinical trials. You bought the other thing

Government spending on clinical trials: 604 times less than military spending. Your chance of dying from terrorism: 1 in 30 million99. Your chance of dying from disease: 100%.

If cancer had oil reserves, you would have cured it by 2003. Instead, you spent the repair money on murder tubes that cost more than countries and submarines that hide underwater, as if that’s somehow useful when you live on land.

Your Civilization Has a Countdown

And that’s just the official murder budget.

Cybercrime costs $10.5T per year45 and growing at 15% annually. This is not a separate problem. North Korea can’t build an aircraft carrier, but it funds its nuclear program by stealing $1.5 billion in cryptocurrency in a single afternoon136. Russia finances military operations with ransomware. Cybercrime is war conducted through WiFi, and it pays better.

Combined, your destructive economy is $13.2T per year, 11.5% of global GDP. Both are growing faster than the part of your economy that makes things. So the part that destroys things is winning. I’m told this is not considered an emergency. On your planet this is considered “Tuesday.”

There is a crossover point, and I cannot believe I have to explain this to a species that invented calculus. When the parasitic economy grows large enough relative to the productive one, the rational choice for any individual, company, or nation flips from “build things” to “steal things.” Why spend years building a product when you can ransom a hospital in an afternoon? Why manufacture exports when hacking banks pays better? Once enough of your economy is extraction, producing anything makes you a target rather than a success. Production becomes irrational. Parasitism becomes the equilibrium.

You have a name for places where this already happened. You call them “failed states.” Somalia, Libya, parts of Syria. The productive economy collapsed, the warlord economy replaced it, and nobody can restart production because anyone who builds something gets it taken. You’ve watched this happen to individual countries the way someone watches a neighbor’s house burn down while storing gasoline in their own basement. Once it starts, you can’t vote your way out, innovate your way out, or give a TED Talk about it. (You will try all three.)

At current growth rates, your destructive economy reaches 25% of GDP in 8 years. The Soviet Union collapsed at 15% of GDP in military spending alone. They had worse technology, a smaller parasitic sector, and a plan. It was a terrible plan, but they had one. You are approaching their ratio with better technology, a faster-growing parasitic sector, and no plan. The Soviet Union’s terrible plan beat your no plan, and the Soviet Union lost.

This is a loop, not a line item. Your governments print money to fund military spending, which devalues wages through inflation, which makes legitimate work pay less, which pushes talent toward cybercrime, which grows the destructive economy, which justifies more military spending. Every nation you’ve bombed or sanctioned has learned that parasitizing your economy is cheaper than fighting you conventionally. That’s not crime. That’s homework. You built the incentive structure and they did the math.

The treaty breaks this loop. Redirect the war money to medical research, make the productive economy so rewarding that crime becomes irrational, and defund the war machine that manufactures the poverty that feeds the cycle. You don’t outlaw the loop. You defund it.

The FDA is Unsafe and Ineffective

Even the money you DO spend on medicine is mostly wasted, because the system that approves treatments is a smoke detector that forwards your screams to a fax machine.

Vioxx killed an estimated 55,000 people from heart attacks137. The FDA approved it. When patients started dying, someone filled out a PDF form. A PDF. Then they faxed it. (Yes, in the 21st century.) Then a human read it. Five years and tens of thousands of corpses later, someone noticed a pattern. This is your safety system.

Your National Institutes of Health, the agency nominally responsible for finding cures, spends 3.3% of its budget on clinical trials. The other ~97% goes to basic research, administration, and buildings. It’s like a fire department that spends 3% of its budget on water.

Then there’s a 8.2 years delay between proving a drug is safe and letting dying humans take it. The drug passed the safety test. Everyone agrees it won’t kill you. But you still can’t have it because a committee needs to spend 8.2 years making sure it works well enough. You’d volunteer for the trials that would answer that question faster, but so would 1.08 billion people other patients, and the current system has 1.9 million slots. That’s a participation rate of 0.06%. It’s like a lifeguard who confirms the life preserver floats, then zip-ties it into a glass display case to study its buoyancy profile while a billion people cough up pool water and sink in line for the two available life jackets.

Your regulatory system can make two mistakes: approve a bad drug (Type I error), or block a good drug (Type II error). Your FDA is terrified of the first mistake and completely ignores the second. I calculated the ratio: for every 1 person protected from a dangerous drug, 3.07k people die waiting for a safe one that’s locked in the approval cabinet. Even if you assume a Thalidomide-scale catastrophe happens during post-phase 1 efficacy testing every single year (even though it wouldn’t because Phase I safety testing actually caught it anyway), the deaths from just the efficacy delay still outnumber the deaths from bad drugs by 3.07k to 1. Your safety system’s main product is dead patients.


The good news: You already know how to fix this.

The bad news: It requires you to do something.

The weird news: You’ll get rich doing it.

The Solution

A 1% Treaty

This is going to sound crazy. But you’re going to use those papers to persuade the leader of every country on Earth to simultaneously redirect 1% of its military budget to clinical trials. That’s it. That’s the treaty.

After the craziness objection, the second objection every human has: “But if we cut our military budget, our enemies will invade us!” Everyone cuts 1% at the same time. Your national security actually increases, because everyone has 1% fewer missiles pointed at them. And if you still feel like doing war, $2.69T is still enough to murder every man, woman, and child on Earth 20 times, which should be more than sufficient.

“But humans would never agree to a treaty!” you say. You already have. Multiple times. You banned chemical weapons (1993, 193 countries). You banned biological weapons (1975, 187 countries). You banned landmines (1997, 164 countries). You’ve signed treaties banning weapons you actually like using. This one just asks you to buy 1% fewer of them.

I’ve done this before. I’ve sent versions of this manual to 847 civilizations on 847 planets. Some listened. Some didn’t. I kept the data. The civilizations that redirected resources from killing each other to keeping each other alive transcended war and disease. The ones that didn’t extincted themselves. The difference was never intelligence, technology, or resources. The only variable was the percentage of the population that decided it sounded crazy without reading the next page. That is the same reflex that kept you from inventing antibiotics for 200,000 years while bread mold sat right there on your bread.

And you have two other advantages, the internet and a new financial instrument designed specifically for harnessing the most powerful force in the universe: human greed.

Your Decentralized FDA

On Wishonia, we built this with the funding from our version of the treaty, 3,000 years ago. Every treatment is tracked in real time. Every outcome is published. Every patient can participate. We don’t have a word for “unapproved medicine” because we don’t have a bureaucracy that sits on safe treatments while people die. You’d call our system a Decentralized FDA138,139. Here’s what yours would look like, adjusted for the fact that you require small pieces of paper before you’ll do anything.

80% of the $27.2B will go directly to subsidizing patient participation in pragmatic trials at $929/patient instead of the usual $41K. Patients will choose which trials to join; their subsidy will follow them. Treatment developers and providers will get paid for each participant. No grant committees deciding which diseases are fashionable this year.

Instead of testing drugs on 200 humans selected by pharmaceutical companies in clinical terrariums, you’ll test on real patients in real hospitals. Where the diseases are. The whole thing will use your new decentralized FDA protocol, reducing trial costs by 44.1x and funding 23.4 million patients/year (versus the current 1.9 million patients/year). Remember that billion patients drowning in line for two life jackets? Your decentralized FDA will hand out 23.4 million.

This will increase the treatment discovery rate 12.3x, compressing that ~443 years wait to ~36 years. Two things will save lives. First, finding treatments faster: treatments that would have sat undiscovered for centuries will get found 204 years sooner on average. Second, eliminating the 8.2 years bureaucratic delay between proving a drug is safe and letting dying humans take it. Combined, treatments will reach patients 212 years sooner on average. That timeline shift will prevent 10.7 billion deaths. Those are individual humans who currently have plans for next Tuesday.

Real-Time Safety Monitoring

Remember Vioxx and the smoke detector that works by mail? Your new system will collect every side effect automatically in real time. You’ll know “12% got headaches, 3% were severe” BEFORE you take the pill, not after the class action lawsuit. The FDA doesn’t publish these numbers at all. They make you guess.

Treatment Rankings

Currently, your doctor picks treatments based on: that drug rep who brought good donuts in 2003, something they half-remember from medical school, whatever the insurance company allows, and vibes. This is called “evidence-based medicine,” which contains the word “evidence” the same way “grape soda” contains the word “grape.”

Your decentralized FDA will rank every treatment by what actually happened to real humans who took it:

Which pills work better than other pills, in list form. Like a leaderboard for not dying.

Which pills work better than other pills, in list form. Like a leaderboard for not dying.
Outcome Labels

Food has nutrition labels. Cigarettes have warning labels. Drugs have 40-page inserts written by liability goblins in a dialect only cursed printers can read, which nobody reads, including your doctor.

Your television advertisements show a smiling human frolicking through a meadow while a voiceover lists ways the drug might kill you at auctioneer speed. The meadow human does not react to the word “stroke.” Side effects include “death,” listed between “constipation” and “mild rash,” as if your organs failing is roughly as inconvenient as dry skin. The label says “individual results may vary,” meaning outcomes range from “cured” to “deceased” (both technically qualifying). It also says “ask your doctor,” but your doctor has 7 minutes per appointment and just Googled your condition in the hallway.

Your new system will produce Outcome Labels that tell you what actually happens when real humans take a drug. Not what a marketing department hopes happens. Not what a lawyer is comfortable admitting happens. What happens.

What medicine labels would say if they were honest.

What medicine labels would say if they were honest.

Your decentralized FDA figures out which treatments work. But your governments also need to know which policies work, how much to spend on what, which laws to keep, which to throw away. Your current method is to argue about it on television until someone wins by being louder. On Wishonia, the Optimitron handles this. It’s an appliance. You plug in what 10,000 jurisdictions tried, it tells you which policies actually made people richer or less dead. Its Optimal Budget Generator140 does budgets; its Optimal Policy Generator141 does laws.

Why This Could Actually Work

Unlike Everything Else Humanity Has Tried

The Evidence

Humans usually want “proof” before they stop doing something stupid, which is interesting because you never required proof before starting:

  • The RECOVERY trial tested 6 treatments on 48,000 patients for $500 per patient instead of the usual $41K per patient. That’s a 82x cost reduction. Not in theory. In reality. During a pandemic. While panicking. Your species does its best medical research when terrified and disorganized, which suggests your normal system is somehow worse than panic.
  • After WW2, humans cut military spending by 87.6% in two years and stumbled into the greatest economic boom in history by running out of people to shoot at. You’re now spending 30.6x the pre-WW2 baseline in inflation-adjusted dollars. You’re asking for 1%. Even people who really, really, love exploding people should be able to handle 1%.

You’ve already done harder things than this

You’ve already done harder things than this

Even your own war heroes figured this out. Eisenhower, the human who won WW2, warned you that the weapons industry was eating your civilization alive: “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” You gave him a standing ovation and then immediately ignored him for 65 years.

The Math

Remember the 212 years timeline shift? Treatments reaching patients that many years sooner means billions of people gain years of healthy life. Value each of those life-years at $150K (the standard economic valuation), multiply across the global disease burden over the acceleration window, and you get $84.8 quadrillion in total economic value. Divide that by the $1B campaign cost, and you get a return of 84.8M to 1. Your calculator will display an error, emit a tiny electronic scream, and attempt to leave the desk. This is correct.

Your calculator will display an error (this is correct)

Your calculator will display an error (this is correct)

Cost-effectiveness: $0.00177 to save one year of healthy human life. Anti-malaria bed nets, the gold standard for keeping humans alive, cost $89. This is 50.3kx cheaper. It beats smallpox eradication (280 to 1) and childhood vaccinations (13 to 1), which were humanity’s previous greatest hits in the “not dying” genre. Even if you assume only a 1% probability of the treaty actually passing (because you’re you), the expected return is still 503x better than anti-malaria bed nets.

The 5-Step Plan

Saving Humanity While Making Everyone Obscenely Wealthy

Step 1: Sell Incentive Alignment Bonds

On Wishonia, people do useful things because they’re useful. On Earth, you need a financial instrument. So here’s one.

An Incentive Alignment Bond funds a policy campaign, then splits the resulting government savings three ways: 80% to clinical trials, 10% to investors as a revenue share on treaty funds, and 10% to a Super PAC that rewards politicians who voted yes (campaign support while they’re running, cushy post-office careers when they’re done). Investors give money, get more money back. Politicians get reelected. 80% goes to curing diseases. The corruption is capped at 20% and fully transparent. The other 80% goes directly to clinical trials through wishocratic allocation, where nobody with money gets to decide where it goes. Meanwhile, the Optimitron tells governments which of their own policies are working and which ones are expensive ways to accomplish nothing.

Remember when your grandparents funded WW2 by buying bonds? They got 4% returns and a world without Nazis (mostly). You’re proposing the same thing.

What Grandma Got

  • Dead Nazis (admittedly good)
  • 4% returns (barely beat inflation)
  • Still died of cancer in 1987

What You’re Offering

  • Dead diseases (objectively better than dead Nazis because diseases kill more people)
  • 272% annual returns (a revenue share on 10% of treaty funds; if the treaty grows, so do their returns, which turns investors into the world’s most motivated lobbyists for expanding it)
  • Not dying from preventable meat failures (this is the big one)
  • Also no Nazis (as a bonus)

This raises the $1B needed to fuel the rest of the bribery machine.

Grandma’s war bonds paid 4%. Yours pay 272%. Grandma would be furious if she hadn’t died of cancer.

Grandma’s war bonds paid 4%. Yours pay 272%. Grandma would be furious if she hadn’t died of cancer.

How the Money Loop Works

Here’s the part where humans usually stop reading because it involves following money through more than one step. Try to keep up:

  1. You sell $1B in VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds142 to investors. This funds the campaign.
  2. The campaign succeeds. Your treaty redirects 1% of military spending: $27.2B/year flows from the murder budget to clinical trials.
  3. The Victory Corporation (the company that issued the bonds) takes a 20% management fee on that $27.2B.
  4. Half of that fee (10%) goes to investor dividends: $2.72B/year on a $1B investment. That’s 272% annual returns. Your investors will think it’s a typo. It’s not.
  5. The other half (10%) goes to a Super PAC that spends $2.72B/year getting treaty-friendly politicians elected and funding cushy post-office careers for the ones who voted yes. The more you voted for the treaty, the more support you get. It’s Pavlovian conditioning, but for senators.

The remaining 80% of $27.2B goes where it’s supposed to: funding clinical trials that keep humans alive.

This is the entire trick. You use greed to fund the campaign, greed to pass the treaty, and greed to keep it passed. The money just circulates until diseases stop existing.

If this sounds familiar, it should. Eisenhower warned you about the Military Industrial Complex: weapons manufacturers fund politicians, politicians fund weapons contracts, contracts fund contractors, contractors fund politicians. It’s a self-sustaining loop that prints money and corpses.

You’re building the same machine, but pointed at diseases instead of countries. Call it the Patient Industrial Complex. Investors fund politicians, politicians fund clinical trials, trials generate returns, returns fund investors, investors fund politicians. Same loop. Same greed. Same self-sustaining mechanics. Different corpses (fewer of them).

The Military Industrial Complex wasn’t designed. It evolved, because the incentives aligned. An Incentive Alignment Bond just aligns them on purpose, toward something that doesn’t require orphans.

Step 2: The Great Clicking

Make Humans Click a Button to Not Die

You need 3.5% of humanity to vote yes on: “Should your country redirect 1% of military spending to fund clinical trials?”

Why 3.5%? A political scientist named Erica Chenoweth studied every major political movement of the last century and found that none had ever failed after achieving 3.5% active participation55. Not one. Every civil rights movement, every revolution, every regime change. Hit 3.5% and you win. Humanity discovered the cheat code for changing its own civilization and then never used it on purpose.

That’s 280 million humans. Sounds like a lot until you remember that more than 10 times as many of you installed a slot machine disguised as an app so it could drip-feed you strangers dancing, crying, and developing conspiracy theories in portrait mode. You can get 280 million to vote yes or no on the treaty. $250M of the campaign budget goes to paid referral bonuses that make sharing their link to vote financially attractive. It’s a pyramid scheme where the thing at the top of the pyramid is not dying from preventable diseases.

Step 3: Bribe the Bribers

Professional Briber Conversion Therapy

Military lobbyists currently get $1,813 back per dollar invested in democracy corruption143. Show them a spreadsheet:

Current Job

  • Salary: $500K
  • Moral status: Somewhere between “arms dealer” and “the person who puts raisins in cookies”
  • Legacy: “Here lies someone who made orphans”

Your Offer

  • Same salary, but for lobbying politicians to fund clinical trials instead of cluster bombs
  • Moral status: “Philanthropist” (but you get to keep the money)
  • Legacy: “Accidentally saved humanity while getting rich”

They might switch sides so fast their business cards leave skid marks. Lobbyists don’t have beliefs. They have clients. Give them a better client.

Step 4: Purchase Democracy

It’s For Sale Anyway

Politicians need papers and votes to keep their jobs. Currently, weapons manufacturers provide both. You’re going to outbid them.

Your explosion manufacturers spend $127M/year buying politicians. Your one-time bribery budget is $1B, which is 8 times their annual spend (and about twice what they spend over a full election cycle). Politicians are surprisingly affordable.

It’s not corruption if you corrupt the corruption.

Remember that $2.72B/year from Step 1? This is where it goes. The Super PAC gives money to politicians based on how they voted on the treaty. Simple: campaign support for the ones running, post-office fellowships for the ones retiring. Vote yes on the treaty, get rewarded. Vote no, watch your opponent get rewarded. No papers go directly to politicians. The papers take a scenic route through a scoring algorithm, which is apparently the only legal way to train a senator.

The NRA already perfected this technology. They give politicians a letter grade, and your senators are more afraid of a bad mark than a mass shooting. You’re plagiarizing their system and replacing “guns” with “not dying from diseases.”

The Incentive Alignment Bond works for any problem where politicians need to do something good but currently get punished for it, which on your planet is most problems.

Step 5: Enjoy

Everyone Gets Rich and Nobody Dies

Your treaty passes because money defeats morality, as is tradition.

The $27.2B/year money volcano erupts:

  • Defense Contractors: Keep 99% of their murder budget PLUS get 272% returns.
  • Big Pharma: Instead of paying $41K for phase 2 and 3 trials, the treaty pays THEM for each patient that joins their trials.
  • Insurance Companies: Healthy people file fewer claims than dead people (dead people file zero claims, which is the ideal customer except they also pay zero premiums, creating a revenue problem).
  • Investors: 272% returns. Returns scale with every treaty expansion, so investors become the world’s most aggressive pro-health and anti-war lobbying force. Not a sentence anyone expected to write.
  • Lobbyists: Same job, same salary, but their Wikipedia page no longer needs a “Controversies” section
  • Politicians: Getting reelected by living voters (a revolutionary strategy)
  • Regular humans: Not dying from stupid things (priceless, but also free)

Nobody has to evolve morally. You just point everyone’s greed at diseases instead of each other.

How This Manual Could Fix Everything

This manual contains:

  • Pictures (because reading is hard when you’re diseased and dying)
  • Simple math (addition mostly, some multiplication)
  • Exact amounts of papers to give to specific humans
  • The order in which to give them (very important)
  • Legal ways to call bribes other things
  • An appliance that tells your governments which policies work (it doesn’t have feelings, which is why it’s better at governing)
  • Templates for tricking politicians into saving lives

Everything is designed to work WITH human dysfunction, not against it. I’m not asking humans to be better humans. I’m showing you how to bribe humanity into not dying.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Now is the time to select one of the two paths for the remainder of your existence.

I modeled both paths for 20 of your years. On Wishonia, we call this a “before and after,” except the “before” is your current civilization and the “after” is one that stopped hitting itself. Your current average income is $14.4K. Your economists project steady 2.5% growth, which requires every trend that is currently getting worse to simultaneously stop getting worse. Good luck with that.

Future A: You Ignore This Manual

  • Year 2027: Still spending 604 times more on weapons than on testing which medicines actually work. Nobody finds this weird.
  • Year 2033: Destructive economy hits 25% of GDP. The Soviet Union collapsed at 15%. You have better technology and worse planning.
  • Year 2035: Your best engineers now work in ransomware because it pays better than engineering. Hospitals budget for extortion the way they used to budget for gauze. A nurse clicks a chart and gets a countdown timer instead of a medication dose. The people who could reverse this trend are the ones profiting from it.
  • Year 2040: Parasitic economy hits 50%. AI agents file more fake court cases than real ones. Tax collection collapses because AI can evade faster than humans can audit. Your governments don’t fall; they rot in place, like a body whose organs are still technically present but no longer speaking to one another. When Venezuela collapsed, Venezuelans fled to Colombia. When the global economy collapses, there is no Colombia.
  • Year 2043: Water wars go nuclear. The survivors argue about whether this counts as a climate death or a military death, because the spreadsheet has separate columns.
  • Year 2045: Cockroaches evolve intelligence.
  • Year 2050: Cockroaches find this manual, very confused

Future B: You Follow Instructions

  • Year 2028: Treaty passes. Murder money becomes medicine money. Investors confused by returns that aren’t a typo. Defense contractors discover that alive customers buy more things than dead ones.
  • Year 2032: First treatments from the accelerated pipeline reach patients. Diseases that would have waited centuries for trials are getting tested now. Nobody is cured of everything, but the queue is finally moving. Humans experience the novel sensation of progress. Several publish op-eds arguing it’s happening too fast.
  • Year 2035: Turns out when you stop spending money on destruction and start spending it on production, things get produced. The math suggests average income roughly doubles. Your economists publish papers explaining why this was obvious in retrospect.
  • Year 2040: The compounding kicks in. Healthier people work more, earn more, spend more, fund more research, which cures more diseases, which makes more people healthier. If the trajectory holds, average income hits 5x where it started. Humans begin to suspect that not killing each other was the missing variable.
  • Year 2048: The model projects average income reaching over 20x today’s level. Nations that pointed incentive alignment bonds at the rest of their dysfunction do 3.43x better. Your children ask what “war” means. You change the subject.

Communism was invented, took over half your planet, and collapsed in a SINGLE human lifetime. In a world without fax machines. It required mass murder and was a TERRIBLE idea. You have the internet and an idea that mainly requires people to click a button and then receive money. If you can’t make this happen, that’s a skill issue.

The Part Where Humanity Has No Choice

The twist: you’re going to do this anyway. Not because it’s right, but because you can’t help it.

You are a selfish animal governed by incentives. This is not an insult. It’s the premise of your entire economy, your political system, and every page of this manual.

  1. The rich humans want 272% returns (they’re very greedy)
  2. The politicians want to keep their jobs (they’re very vain)
  3. The voters want free healthcare (they’re very sick)
  4. The explosion manufacturers want money (they don’t care where it comes from)

I ran the numbers on your species’ habit of ignoring good ideas. The institutionalization rate is 90%. Nine out of ten humans will dismiss this as crazy. The math doesn’t care.

There are 2.78 thousand billionaires on your planet and 195 heads of state. The chain reaction model shows that even with 90% dismissal, approximately 14.5 of them will engage with this idea within 10 years. Not because they’re brave. Because there are 2.98 thousand of them, and the math doesn’t need all of them. It needs one.

And here is the part that should bother you: the incentive structure makes acting the selfish move. If others act too, you get rich together. If nobody else acts, you still own a piece of the only serious attempt to fix the problem. Either way, you win. The only way to reject this is to identify which assumption breaks, and you are welcome to try.

This exact combination (real money for sharing, bonds paying 272% returns, legal bribery via Super PAC, and a 3.5% trigger that activates the treaty) has never existed on your planet before. On the 847 planets where I’ve deployed versions of this, the ones that used it survived. The ones that didn’t are asteroids now. Even if you assume only a 1% chance of the treaty actually passing (because you’re you), the expected return is still 503x better than the best charity humanity has ever funded. The numbers are too large to ignore, which is why you’re still reading.

You’ve now done the math. You understand that the world where this treaty passes is the world where you are personally richer, healthier, and less dead. You also understand that all you have to do is send this to the most powerful selfish person you know. Not the most generous. The most selfish. Because they will read it, do the same math you just did, and send it to the most powerful selfish person THEY know. Not to save the world. Because it makes them money.

This is a chain reaction, and it runs on greed.

This is happening whether you participate or not. The math is public. The incentives are structural. Someone in the chain will do exactly what you’re deciding not to. The only variable you control is how long it takes. You’re not deciding whether to act. You’re deciding how many people die while you hesitate.

The moment you understood the incentives, you lost the ability to not act on them. Every person in the chain will do exactly what you’re about to do, for exactly the same selfish reasons, and none of you will be able to stop yourselves, because stopping would require acting against your own interests. You’ve never done that. It’s your whole thing.

You don’t have free will here. You have incentives. And they all point the same direction.

13.8 billion years ago, the Big Bang set particles in motion. Those particles formed stars. Stars formed elements. Elements formed you. You read this sentence. The chain reaction that ends war and disease began before your solar system existed. You were never going to not read this. Physics wouldn’t allow it.

Of all the consciousness that has ever flickered into existence across 13.8 billion years of matter rearranging itself, yours showed up in the exact moment the loop broke. Every organism that ever lived and died did so in the dark. You get to be alive for the part where it worked.

Humans aren’t stupid. You invented cheese, which is milk you left out until it went bad but in a good way. That’s genius. You just need to apply that same innovation to not dying.

You’ve now read the plan. You have the math. You can’t give it back.

Right now, somewhere on your planet, a parent is holding a child who is dying of something curable because nobody ran the trial. The parent doesn’t know it’s curable. The doctor doesn’t know it’s curable. The compound that would save this child is sitting on a shelf, untested, because the money that would have funded the trial bought a missile that is also sitting on a shelf, unused, pointed at someone else’s children. Not because the science doesn’t exist. Not because the money doesn’t exist. $2.72T a year exists. The child is dying because every single person who could change that decided it wasn’t their problem.

You are now one of those people.

If you feel something right now, that’s not manipulation. That’s the correct response to understanding that 10.7 billion deaths preventable deaths are a policy choice. That number is too large for your brain to feel. So feel one. Pick someone you love. Imagine the moment a doctor tells you there’s nothing left to try, and somewhere on a shelf, untested, sits the compound that would have worked. Now multiply that feeling by a number your brain refuses to hold. The part you can’t feel is the actual size of this problem. Go back and read this paragraph again until you can.

Here is what should scare you: if this works, the world becomes unrecognizable. Not slightly better. Unrecognizable. Disease eradicated, income doubled, your species freed from the thing that has been eating it alive since before you invented writing. That future is so good your brain can’t render it, which is why you’re hesitating. The status quo is also unrecognizable, just in the other direction, and you’ve been living in it so long you’ve mistaken it for normal. One of these futures has children dying. The other doesn’t. Pick.

One action: forward The Message to the most powerful person you know. Not a friend. The most powerful person. They know someone more powerful, who knows someone more powerful, and in about fifteen hops it reaches someone who can actually do this. Every minute this plan is delayed, 104 more humans permanently stop. You are now the delay. The whole plan runs on one instruction repeated: send this up. You already know you’re going to.

If you truly know nobody powerful, go to warondisease.org and vote. Fifteen seconds. Your vote saves 38.4 lives and prevents 6.9 million hours of suffering. Those are not metaphors. Those are people. They have names you’ll never learn because they died while you were deciding if this was worth fifteen seconds.

Most of you will close this and do nothing. The Moronians did exactly this. They had the numbers, they had the mechanism, and they went back to scrolling. This book was written about you, and you read the whole thing without realizing it.

“I didn’t know” is no longer available to you.

One of your meat creatures said it better than I can:

Charlie Chaplin - The Great Dictator Speech

The universe is literally offering you infinite money and eternal life, and you’re thinking about it.

This is why aliens don’t visit.